{"product_id":"asylum-gift-card","title":"Asylum Gift Card","description":"\u003ch1 class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eTHE ASYLUM GIFT CARD: MANDATORY COMMITMENT PAPERS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e(Know someone who legally belongs here?)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eLet’s face it: picking out a gift for a delusional human being is a logistical nightmare. That’s why we created the official Off-Brand Humor Gift Card—the only socially acceptable way to commit someone you love (or tolerate) directly to the Ward of their choice.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eLet them pick their own poison, choose their own psychological armor, and select their favorite flavor of offensive sarcasm.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eTHE TREATMENT PLAN:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eFlexible Denominations:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAvailable in amounts designed for mild infractions all way up to full felony psychological breakdowns.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eExpiration Date:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eNever expires. Much like a permanent record in the federal witness protection program, this balance stays active until it’s spent.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eThe Return Policy:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eNo refunds. (You knew what this place was the second you walked through the gates.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eGive the gift of bad decisions, trade-hardened humor, and guaranteed HR visits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"ng-star-inserted\"\u003eWelcome to the Asylum.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Off-Brand Humor","offers":[{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":67427915727152,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":67427915759920,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100.00","offer_id":67427915792688,"sku":null,"price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$250.00","offer_id":67427915825456,"sku":null,"price":250.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0990\/0982\/3024\/files\/gift-card-front_83eed989-51ae-4da9-bd83-c245414f2e2a.png?v=1785627718","url":"https:\/\/off-brand-humor.com\/products\/asylum-gift-card","provider":"Off-Brand Humor","version":"1.0","type":"link"}