Humor for the outliers. Unapologetic Apparel

Refund policy

SHIPPING & RETURNS

Last updated: August 2026

(DOMESTIC & INTERNATIONAL)

SHIPPING POLICY

 

SHIPPING & LOGISTICS (A.K.A. THE WAIT)

We don’t have a warehouse full of pre-made junk. Every item is printed, stitched, or pressed the second you order it. If you wanted instant gratification, you should’ve gone to a big-box store and bought a beige shirt.


THE PRODUCTION BUFFER

Standard fulfillment takes 2-5 business days. This is the time it takes for our robots (and the occasional human) to actually create your gear.


THE SHIPPING JOURNEY

  • USA: Expect your gear 5-10 business days, after it is shipped.
  • International: 10–20 business days, wear a different shirt while you wait.


ACTS OF GOD (AND OTHER HEADACHES)

Once your order leaves our hands, it's at the mercy of the world.

Off Brand Humor is not responsible for delays caused by:

 

  • Weather & Natural Disasters: If a blizzard stops the mail truck, we can't melt the snow for you.

 

  • Customs Inspections: International orders may be held by border agents who want to admire your taste in dark humor.

 

  • Ex-Interception: As stated, if you ship this to your ex and they keep it, that’s between you and your past mistakes.

 

TRACKING & EXPECTATIONS

You'll get a tracking number via email as soon as we ship. Delivery dates are estimates, not promises. If your gear is 2 days late, stay calm.

If it’s 7 business days past the estimate, then we can talk.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMS & BORDER TAXES

Shipping across borders is a bureaucratic nightmare fueled by people in suits who want a piece of your gear. By completing your order for international delivery, you acknowledge that import duties and taxes may apply and are your sole responsibility.  If you’re ordering from outside the USA, PAY ATTENTION:


THE "NOT OUR EXTORTION" RULE

Your local government might hit your package with import duties, VAT, or "processing fees" before they let you have it. These charges are NOT included in our shipping rates or your checkout total. We don’t collect this money, we don’t want it, and we certainly don’t see a dime of it.


THE RESPONSIBILITY

You are the "Importer of Record," which is fancy legal speak for "the person the government is going to bill." YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for paying any fees your country demands.


THE 2026 EU TAX TRAP

As of July 1, 2026, the EU has basically declared war on small parcels. Expect a flat customs fee plus VAT on everything. Don't act surprised when the courier holds your shirt hostage for an extra €5, they have been doing this since the middle ages.


THE "GIFT" SCAM

Don't ask us to mark your order as a "Gift" or lie about the value to dodge taxes. That’s mail fraud. While we flirt with the darkness, we aren't interested in going to federal prison to save you five bucks.


If you refuse to pay the government their cut and the package is destroyed or sent back, we cannot refund you. Know your local laws before you buy, or stay in the "Land of the Free."

RETURN & EXCHANGE POLICY

THE FINE PRINT (OR WHY YOU PROBABLY CAN'T RETURN THIS)

Look, we warned you about the humor, and now we’re warning you about the logistics. Every piece of gear at Off Brand Humor is custom-printed the moment you hit "Buy." We don’t have a warehouse, and we definitely don’t want your used shirts back.

 

THE "OUR BAD" CLAUSE
If your shirt arrives with a hole in it, the design is upside down, or we sent you a toddler size by mistake—fine, we’ll fix it. Email a photo of the disaster to “TheWarden@Off-Brand-Humor.com” within 21 days. We’ll send a replacement and fire the intern responsible. (Just kidding, we don't have interns. We’ll just fix it.)

 

THE "YOUR BAD" REALITY
Because our products are custom-made, we DO NOT offer refunds or exchanges for:

 

  • Size Regret: We put a Size Chart on every page for a reason. Read it. If you’re "optimistic" about your fit and it’s tight, that’s your new motivation. If it’s too big, it’s a sleep shirt. No swaps.
  • Buyer’s Remorse:  If you woke up and realized your boss actually will fire you for wearing this, that’s a life lesson, not a refund opportunity.
  • Address Acrobatics: If you ship this to your ex and they keep it, that’s between you and your past mistakes. We won't refund it, and we won't mediate the breakup. Once the patient escapes the asylum, watch your back...the clowns outside will eat your crayons, and we're too busy printing shirts to bring you new ones.

 

THE BOTTOM LINE
All sales are final. We aren’t Amazon, and we aren't your mother. Check your order twice, wear it once, and try to stay out of HR’s office.